Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
