Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
