i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
