It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
