You're so nebulous sometimes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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