the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Randomize
