ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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