I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
