areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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