just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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