I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Alive.
So much puke
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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