Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
