I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
