the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
