do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
