u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Magyver!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
