in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
