dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
