Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
