please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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