Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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