I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
