But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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