Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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