I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
