I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
