Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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