who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
