There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just cut my nipple shaving
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I will pee on everything he values.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
