STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
