Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
