We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
