so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
