:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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