She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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