Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
