your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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