Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
