i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
