an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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