You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
