Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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