You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
