you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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