As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
