Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
