I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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