I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
