she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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