Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
