Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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