Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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