I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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