I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
