in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
